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One time, at a party in college, someone asked me if I was dating my roommate, a close friend who happened to be, like me, Asian. I laughed. What would we do, bump pussies? It was a stupid throwaway line — self-hatred masquerading as gay party banter. But my intended point was a conviction I casually perpetuated as an irrefutable fact: that all gay Asian men are bottoms. Society had decided that for me. The person I was talking to was white, by the way, and looking back I suspect I was also looking for his approval, positioning myself as someone who, with a self-incriminating wink, was in on the joke.
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